wedding date 15 february 2020
106 wedding guests
Newly weds Jeremy + Alfredo were together for 3 years before they became engaged to be married - meeting very late, on the 11th of October 2014, after a very brief chat on Grindr, with Jeremy first thinking Alfredo’s accent was from Brazil. Over the following month, very few days went passed which they weren’t seeing each other.
Jeremy working a full time job, and Alfredo working rostered shifts in hospitality, had its challenges, so sometimes the two had proper dates, other times would be Jeremy driving to Alfredo’s apartment for a midnight cigarette and a chat, before driving back home.
the proposal:
We were over in Sorrento, Italy, visiting Alfredo’s family, on two separate occasions people asked when we were getting engaged. It was a strange time for a couple of reasons - Firstly, Italy being seen to be a tad more conservative in regards to the definition of marriage, and secondly, marriage equality not yet being legal in Australia.
So then one day, after a few Aperol Spritz in the sun and a brief conversation, we decided to get engaged. A few days later in Rome, just prior to returning home to Melbourne, I suggested heading to Bvulgari to purchase the engagement rings, only for the following exchange to happen:
Alfredo “you haven’t even proposed to me”
Jeremy “well, you haven’t even proposed to me”
So there in our hotel room, we asked the other to get married and spend the rest of our lives together. On returning home to Melbourne, we told our close family and friends, and saved a broader announcement for 15th November 2017 - coinciding with the Yes announcement of the same-sex marriage plebiscite.
What led you to decide on your Wedding venue?
Alfredo works for the Oaks Hotel group - we’re also regulars at the hotel’s bar on a Friday night. We were wanting a cocktail theme over a sit down, so the Oak and Vine bar was a perfect fit. Plus, it was hard trying to pass on the associated employee benefits...
What was the inspiration behind your Wedding theme?
We didn’t have a “theme” per se - ours was the first SSM in our wider social network, so there weren’t any we’d seen to leverage ideas from. Similarly, we didn’t lean on OSM for ideas, as we knew we had to make this day extra special for so many people in the room - trailblazers that allowed us to stand up the front and say ‘I Do’.
We used a neutral/autumn colour palate - with khaki, gold and white florals on the invite, and at the ceremony and reception. The ceremony was kept quite traditional and light hearted, with as much humour added as possible. The reception is where we all wanted it to happen- both of us love a party, and is exactly what we wanted the reception to be. We had a DJ playing all night, who kept the dance floor active and lively, a bar which almost couldn’t keep up with the drink orders, a photobooth, which nearly ran out of film.
Your most favourite moment/s of the day:
The entire day was brilliant, so it’s difficult to pinpoint our favourite. Definitely our photos before the wedding - as it was one of the most calm moments across the whole day. The whole ceremony was just perfect, though the vows were absolutely standout - we hadn’t shared them with each other, so we were stunned when the other ended with “start with forever.” Neither had attended a wedding since SSM became law, so it was the first time hearing a celebrant say “Marriage, according to law in Australia, is the union of two people” as well as “to declare you Husband and Husband” which was incredible to hear! And the reception - what a party! Alfredo’s Mum had said she didn’t want to do a speech, as Italian is her first language, so we were both shocked and in awe when she got up and spoke in English in front of everyone.
The arrangements we had at the wedding were quite non-traditional, and more modern than you’d typically see at a wedding, which was perfect as they matched the floral element on the invite, which was exactly our request. We also loved the gift table - our wishing well was a miniature greenhouse with an open roof, we had a photo guest book complete with a Polaroid camera, and our bonbonniere were personalized shot glasses - matched the invite filled with Italian confetti/sugared almonds, which we then hand wrapped!
And of course, the matching red jackets! Looking back at photos of the day, they make every photo POP!
How was your suit shopping experience overall?
Relatively quickly and easy. We managed to buy our entire outfit in the one trip, as we had a fairly good idea of our outfits on the day. Neither of us had a want of wearing a formal suit, and elected for something more relaxed and modern - chinos, shirt and jacket. Initially, we were planning on a light blue jacket, though it wasn’t until we walked into Jack London, and saw a bright red jacket hanging on the wall, that we knew this would be the jackets on the day.
What resources did you find helped you the most during your Wedding planning?
Talk to anyone and everyone! A week out from the date, there was a small list of things which we still had to purchase or organize, and after suggestions. Use spreadsheets, if you can share a digital list with your partner like iMessage then do it! Join/follow wedding inspo/buy swap sell groups on Facebook.
What does marriage mean to you?
The same lover for life. Marriage to us is taking our relationship to the next level, an official commitment, though most of all making the declaration in front of loved ones, to love and support each other through the good and bad times. And being stuck with the same person for life!
Any classic stories you want to share from the day?
Everything was (more or less) going to plan on the day (not including a last minute change from an outdoor to indoor ceremony, due to weather), until about 10 minutes before the ceremony was due to commence, when Jeremy had a minor meltdown, and had Alfredo going up and down the lift, trying to find various people that Jeremy needed in the room for various reasons.
Advice:
Have as much time as possible to plan - as you get closer to the date, things will start popping up which you’d never think of earlier. Have a budget, and add some extra on top of that... If something doesn’t go to plan on the day, its likely that you two will be the only ones that know, so don’t let it spoil what will be one of he happiest days of your life!
How was your suit shopping experience overall?
Relatively quickly and easy. We managed to buy our entire outfit in the one trip, as we had a fairly good idea of our outfits on the day. Neither of us had a want of wearing a formal suit, and elected for something more relaxed and modern - chinos, shirt and jacket. Initially, we were planning on a light blue jacket, though it wasn’t until we walked into Jack London, and saw a bright red jacket hanging on the wall, that we knew this would be the jackets on the day.
What resources did you find helped you the most during your Wedding planning?
Talk to anyone and everyone! A week out from the date, there was a small list of things which we still had to purchase or organize, and after suggestions. Use spreadsheets, if you can share a digital list with your partner like iMessage then do it! Join/follow wedding inspo/buy swap sell groups on Facebook.
What does marriage mean to you?
The same lover for life. Marriage to us is taking our relationship to the next level, an official commitment, though most of all making the declaration in front of loved ones, to love and support each other through the good and bad times. And being stuck with the same person for life!
Any classic stories you want to share from the day?
Everything was (more or less) going to plan on the day (not including a last minute change from an outdoor to indoor ceremony, due to weather), until about 10 minutes before the ceremony was due to commence, when Jeremy had a minor meltdown, and had Alfredo going up and down the lift, trying to find various people that Jeremy needed in the room for various reasons.
Advice:
Have as much time as possible to plan - as you get closer to the date, things will start popping up which you’d never think of earlier. Have a budget, and add some extra on top of that... If something doesn’t go to plan on the day, its likely that you two will be the only ones that know, so don’t let it spoil what will be one of he happiest days of your life!
Most importantly, when you get to it, enjoy the day! And its easier said than done, but try and take some time out and have a break – we had a friend pass on this advice to us, and tried to do so where and when possible, as it goes past in the blink of an eye.
Vendors that went above and beyond:
Everyone played a very crucial part, a cog in the wheel, and the day couldn’t have happened with out them. Our Celebrant - Mel Calia, Our Photographers - Deshani and Stefan from Wild Hardt, Our Videographer - Cal from Buzz Visions, Our Florist - Kellie from Fig and Bloom, Our singer - Vic Meehan, and of course the entire team from Oaks on Market
Wedding songs:
We decided to have a live singer for the key songs on the day, and was blessed to have a fabulous singer/songwriter from Melbourne (@Vicmeehan on Instagram - Check her out!) belt out the songs on the day.
Aisle - “Is That Alright?” - Lady Gaga
Recessional - Walking On Sunshine” - Katrina and the Waves
First Dance - “Always Remember Us This Way” - Lady Gaga
Rings @uniformblackstore
Suits Blazer @jacklondon_official
Shirt @calvinklein
Pants @oxfordshop
Shoes and belt @aquila_est1958
Officiant @Mel_Calia
Boutonnière/Floral design @fig_and_bloom
Rentals Green-wall @blankspaceevents_melbourne
Venue/caterer @oaks_hotels
Cake Shari Perera
DJ @thatDJaus
Singer @vicmeehan